Jews By Choice

(Cross posted from my LJ)

Since I converted formally last year, I find myself more reflexively Jewish. If you're looking for affirmation of your identity as a nonChristian or Atheist this probably isn't a good time of year to expect it. I certainly don't, though I find myself nosing in drugstores and Target to see if they Hannukah cards and menorahs. To a certain degree, I've been pleasantly surprised.

One trend I'm disturbed by is the joint celebration of Christmas *and* Hannukah by interfaith families. I don't think it's possible to celebrate both: In my mind you should choose one another - in other words, if you have children, you should choose to raise them either Jewish or Christian, but not both. If you're in an interfaith relationship, but have no children, I think there's a little more flexibility.

When I was growing up, I had a very strong identity as a Roman Catholic. I knew I wasn't a generic Christian, but had been brought up within an ancient faith and tradition with specific customs and beliefs that differed from other Christian denominations. I knew that being a Catholic was NOT the same as being a Methodist or a Presbyterian or a Baptist. To celebrate both Hannukah and Christmas together implies that somehow they're similar and therefore interchangeable.

Of course I could be snide and point out the fact that Christianity co-opted and incorporated religious and cultural traditions of those they converted was one of the reasons it became so wide spread.

There's a very strong temptation to say: "All religions are the same." They're aren't. And they shouldn't be.



One of the bad side effects of multiculturalism and religious relativism is to "dumb" down religious traditions and cultures to their most common denominators and deny their very real differences, complexities and contributions. And in the process, I think people end up losing a very real sense of connection to their faith and tradition. Being a convert, I find myself more comfortable participating in services and ritual observance than many Jews I've met. It's pretty telling when I'm asked to recite Ha-motzi at the Oneg and can do so flawlessly, whereas the women who lit the Shabbat candles at the beginning of the service looked clearly ill at ease.

Hannukah, in the Jewish calendar, is a relatively minor festival. It's not even mentioned in the Torah. It does commemorate a historical event -- in fact a very ugly one, depending on how you look at it. Yes, they light candles and it's the festival of lights and how can you say jelly donuts are a bad thing? To me, that's not the point. Being Jewish means being different. And being different from the mainstream imposes a the additional responsibility of nurturing and transmitting a strong a sense of identity and connection to belief and tradition. Instead of seeing it as a chore or something you've always done, you have to embrace it.

Children are pretty smart. They know if you're going through the motions. So, if you're just going through the motions, it's better in my mind not to raise your children anything at all.